Archive for January, 2009

Extra, Extra! Just read the headlines

newspaperI have this thing, a habit if you will, that consists of me glancing at the newspapers and skimming through online news sites just to read the headlines. I then try to pick out the humorous ones and read them aloud so that others can hear how ridiculous they sound. I have never even thought of posting this kind of thing but I was glancing at one website today and thought I’d give it a shot. Here’s a few headlines that I read and simply said to myself with a chuckle, “Not worth reading”.

 Lawyer: California Cop Who Shot, Killed Unarmed Man Meant to Use Stun Gun – I didn’t chuckle but rather shook my head in disbelief. Remember, this is where our tax dollars go.

 Suzanne Somer’s Secret? Vaginal Hormone Injections and 60 Pills a Day – That sounds so good that I just HAVE to read on….right?

Exxon Mobil posts record $45.2 billion profit – The headline says it all; why read on? It’s just going to make you mad anyway.

Maybe I’m just a huge loser, but it seems to entertain me. Try reading headlines aloud by yourself before you take it to work and share it with your buddies. Some may think that it’s funny, others may think you’re extremely awkward. But just remember, you can always send me some funny headlines.


January 31, 2009 at 1:58 pm 2 comments

Minute of a Movie Critic: “Taken”

taken(There are no spoilers in the following writings)

After watching the newly released film “Taken”, I can honestly say that I left the theatre pleased and pleasently surprised. I don’t want to say that I went into the theatre thinking it was going to be bad, but I didn’t believe the hype. Some had said it was awful and others had said it rivals the Bourne-series, I don’t agree with either.

The movie has a pretty basic premise, a storyline that we have all seen before. Bryan Mills, portrayed brilliantly by Liam Neeson, goes on a twisted rampage in Europe to rescue and recover his kidnapped daughter. Same ol’ deal, right? Acutally, Neeson does such a good job playing a bad-ass with the typical dull personality, the plot didn’t seem played-out at all.

It’s a little hard to rate the casting for this film. Again, Neeson was terrific, otherwise the casting was either mediocre or dominated by European extras (or so it seemed). Maggie Grace, who played the daughter of Neeson’s character, was not the least bit impressive. Her character was suppose to be 17-year-old but she portrayed the girl as a 12-year-old with bad fashion taste and a few less brain cells than the other girls in class.

The action throughout the film was consistent and certainly entertaining. Some may feel that the film starts out a little slow, but it’s a sufficient amount of time to set up the remaining points in the film. To my surprise, there were only a few times where I muttered, “Oh yea right, that’s bullsh*t”, to myself. In fact, I can count the number of typical action movie “yea-right’s” on one hand. The director, Pierre Morel, did a good job of keeping the bullcrap to a minimum while drawing the viewer to the edge of the seat.

In conclusion, I think the movie is worth the time and money. Is it worth the pretzel, soda, and large popcorn? That depends on how hungry you are. Looking back, I think a Tony Scott in the director’s chair would have put this movie over the top. I’m not bashing Morel’s directing ability, just simply stating how much I like Scott’s. “Taken” may not be up on the award-winning stage with “Slumdog Millionaire” and “The Wrestler” but it is still worth a lonely Tuesday night.

January 31, 2009 at 1:34 pm 2 comments

Shaq Attack Is Back

shaq-hedAfter Shaq’s weak couple of seasons due to injury and under-performance, I think it’s safe to say that Shaq is back!

Shaq has already played more games this year (37) than he did all of last year (28). He is averaging 18 points-per-game along with 9 rebounds in 31 minutes of action and is shooting almost 60% from the field.

Whether you love or hate Shaq (it’s usually one extreme or the other), it’s always nice to see an athlete resurrected. Had someone asked me two years ago what I thought about Shaq and his “Black Tornado” self-proclaimed signature move, I would have suggested retirement. Ask me this year after just 37 games…I would say Shaq can play for another six years.

Shaq is once again headed to his millionth All-Star game where he will play along side ex-teammate Kobe Bryant while being coached by ex-coach Phil Jackson. When Stephen A. Smith asked Shaq about the awkwardness of the reunion between the three, Shaq shook it off and informed everyone that the “beef” between the three of them was strictly for marketing purposes. Believable? Anything is believable with Shaq.

Go ahead Shaq.

January 31, 2009 at 9:57 am Leave a comment

Yankees may offer bogus contracts

joe-torreIt has been reported that the New York Yankees are thinking about putting a clause in the future contracts of their players and coaches that would restrict them from saying anything negative about the team and/or organization. Although it may sound like a crock, making you ask yourself “can they really do that?”, it is all in response to Joe Torre’s new book (recalling the 12 years he spent with the Yankees).

I believe the New York Yankees called it a “confidentiality clause”, but we all realize the sole purpose of the idea. The Yankees want to buy up everyone in the free agent pool, buy all the best coaches and managers, and now they want to make sure that the team ONLY gets positive publicity. What the hell does that say about the Yankees organization? To me, the Yankees are banking that someone who leaves the organization would most likely have negative things to say, and the Steinbrenner’s don’t want any part of that.

Just another great reason to root for the Yankees.

January 30, 2009 at 10:01 am Leave a comment

Female gives birth to octuplets…and she’s HUMAN!

babiesA Southern California woman gave birth to EIGHT children today! The crazy thing is that I am talking about a human giving birth to humans. The great thing is that all eight children were healthy.

Although the babies were nine weeks premature ranging in weights from 1 pound to 3 pounds, all were said to be healthy and they will remain in the hospital for the next few weeks. The mother, who has not been identified, will be ready to head home by the end of the week.

Fox News had reported that the family and doctors had only planned on delivering seven babies on Tuesday, they were surprised when an eighth popped out. “It is quite easy to miss a baby when you’re anticipating seven,” said Dr. Harold Henry, who was one of the 46 doctors, nurses and assitants that helped to deliver the babies.

Congratulations….I suppose.

January 28, 2009 at 11:11 am 2 comments

Tomlinson’s future continues to hang in the balance

ladainian-tomlinsonFirst it was the rumors that the San Diego Chargers had Pro-Bowl running back LaDainian Tomlinson on the trading block. Then it was Tomlinson writing on his official website that he wanted to finish his career in San Diego. After that, Chargers’ GM A.J. Smith made some comments that seemed as if he was mocking Tomlinson. All of which was followed by a discussion between Smith and Tomlinson. Solved, right? Hardly…

Tomlinson stated that Smith apologized for the comments and that he did not intend for the comments to sound the way he did. Tomlinson continues to express his desire to stay with San Diego and finish his career with the organization that drafted him. Tomlinson also mentioned that he and Smith discussed the possibility of a trade.

Who would have thought that a future Hall of Famer like LT would have to work to stay with an organization? I understand that the NFL is a business above all, but c’mon. There is no one in their right mind that could say LT is done after 8 solid years in the league. He has 11,760 yards and 126 rushing touchdowns in just those 8 years and he boasts a career average of 4.5 yards per carry. Even with the slowly approaching age of 30 (Tomlinson is 29), teams should not shy away from any deal that could get their hands on him.

The NFL has an even worst trade rate for years-of-age than dogs. When running backs in the NFL turn 30, they’re considered dead. The NFL’s 30-year-old running back is an 80-year-old man with a life expectancy of 100. But LT cannot be looked at as one of those guys.

And now we are back at square one. A.J. Smith apologizes and LT still waits. Tomlinson’s only intention is to get healthy over the summer and play football next season. Although he would prefer to play in San Diego, there isn’t a doubt in my mind that he can contribute a WHOLE lot to any organization…and he will not hesitate to do so.

January 28, 2009 at 10:47 am Leave a comment

Chase Budinger gets STOMPED in the face!

Arizona star Chase Budinger had his quick shot at pro-wrestling in his last game against Houston. While on the hardwood, Houston’s Aubrey Coleman stomps on Budinger’s face. Of course it was an accident, according to Coleman, and he apologized. But seriously, no one can watch this and say it was an accident. Wow…

January 27, 2009 at 6:10 am 1 comment

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