Archive for February, 2009

And It’s All Over, Tom Brady Marries Super-Model Fiance

gisele-bundchen

First they were dating. Then engaged. Then NOT engaged. Then they were married. Then they weren’t married. And so on and so forth. All the while, keeping the average guy hopeful with slim chances of landing one the most attractive people in the world, Gisele Bundchen.

But it’s all over now! According to reports, Bundchen and quarterback fiance Tom Brady wed Thursday night at a Catholic church in Santa Monica. The ceremony was reported to be very small and only included relatives and close friends.

Sorry to inform those that believed they still had a shot with Gisele. A helpful tip from The Box, don’t be so hard on yourself, you’ll land the next super-model bombshell.

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February 27, 2009 at 12:25 pm Leave a comment

Buyer Beware: 4 Reasons Why I Would NOT Overpay For Albert Haynesworth

albert-haynesworth

With NFL Free Agency just hours away, it’s safe to say that Albert Haynesworth will become the highest-paid defensive tackle EVER. There are a few teams that have the money to pay this guy and the rest of the teams just dream about him wearing their colors. But I tend to tilt a little more the other way when it comes to Albert Haynesworth. So I ask myself, and you too, how much is Albert Haynes-WORTH?

Numerous sources, including ESPN and NFL.com, have suggested that Haynesworth will receive a contract offer some where around $100 million just after midnight tonight. To me, VERY few players are worth a $100 million contract. But to the Dan Snyder’s of the league, he’s worth every penny. And I won’t even get into the feelings I have about Dan Snyder and the way he’s ruining my beloved Redskins, because we simply don’t have the time.

So let me lay down the arguments for why I believe teams should think long and hard before they offer half the world to good ol’ Albert Haynesworth…

  1. Reliability – Albert hasn’t played a 16-game season since 2002, giving him an average of just 12.8 games played per year. Some may say that he’s worth the money for just the 3/4 of the season. I’m saying NO WAY. If I’m paying a guy a nine-figure salary, I’m going to be damn sure that he shows  up every single snap.
  2. Productivity – People hoot and holler about how spectacular Albert is, and I agree, but I think it’s a little over-hyped. In Albert’s seven seasons, he’s averaging LESS THAN 3.5 sacks a season. I know Albert was awesome last year and I give him a lot of credit for helping the Titans get to where they got, but let’s look at the overall product here. His tackles have stayed between 30 and 50 and that’s more than acceptable, a guy clogging up the middle is huge. But make no mistake about it, a $100 million man should be able to pass-rush and run-stop CONSISTENTLY.
  3. Character– We all remember when Albert blatantly stomped on the face of Cowboys’ center Andre Gurode while he was down and helpless. But what many don’t know is that that wasn’t Albert’s first crazy rage. While in college at Tennessee, Albert got into a fight with a teammate at practice and was forced to leave. Albert then returned to practice with a huge pole looking for the teammate and he had to be restrained by head coach Phil Fulmer. And then, while with the Titans, Albert got into an altercation with former teammate Justin Hartwig and kicked him in the chest before being restrained by other teammates. I know that we don’t know the guys he was fighting, but I do know that class-act guys don’t stomp other players or fight their teammates. And I also know that anyone who stomps a man in the face while he’s down and without a helmet on does not deserve a $100 million contract.
  4. Heart – Why is it that Albert posted the best stats of his whole career during the last year of his contract? I know that contract-years are big years for a lot of athletes, but this one comes off a little fishy to me. Albert was a 2-3 sack guy for the first five years in the NFL and then in 2007 he records six and then in his contract year he nets an incredible 8.5. I would be very suspicious about where Albert’s heart is. I know football players need to get their money while they can, it’s not there forever, but c’mon. If you want the big money then you need to show me you deserve it. Don’t become great in your seventh season, become great in your SECOND season and show me consistency.

Albert Haynesworth is a dominant force in the game today. His size alone (6’6, 320) is intimidating enough to shy running backs away from open holes. He had a remarkable season last year and he is a difference-maker in every game he plays. I get all of that. All I am saying is that I don’t think Albert is worth $100 million. Do I think he’s good? Absolutely, that’s not my argument. I think Albert should get paid like a top free-agent should, I just don’t think we should quite bet the farm on this guy.

When it’s all said and done, I think Dan Snyder makes Albert Haynesworth a Washington Redskin by 12:15 Friday morning. As much as I don’t want to see the Skins give Albert $100  million, I truly believe that’s how it goes down. Bring on the arguments!

February 27, 2009 at 1:00 am Leave a comment

Tampa Bay Cleans House

derrick-brooks

Unfortunately in the NFL, like many other sport organizations, teams are forced to part ways with some of their most recognizable players in order to stay under the cap or create more space. Well the Tampa Bay Buccaneers took that to a whole new level, parting ways with a number of key guys.

After firing their head coach Jon Gruden just a few weeks ago, some believed that the team was done with firings. Not so fast. The team released linebacker Derrick Brooks, running back Warrick Dunn, linebacker Cato June, and wide receivers Joey Galloway and Ike Hilliard. And if you watch football, or even catch a few short highlights every once in a while, you know who these guys are.

Derrick Brooks is one of the best linebackers in the game today, even at his ripe age of 35. He is an 11-time Pro Bowler and the face of the Tampa Bay franchise. In my opinion, and in many others, Derrick Brooks has enough in the tank to continue to play. He can come in and play, obviously, but he can also bring leadership and veteran experience to any team who is smart enough to give him a three-year deal. Brooks is a first ballot Hall of Famer and it’s tough to see something like this happen to such a great guy. He may very well retire in Tampa Bay.

Warrick Dunn is another awesome guy that has graced us with his talent and his generosity to the community. He has a compelling story and he is one of the most humble guys to ever step foot on a professional football field. Again, it’s tough to see a guy like Warrick Dunn be released. However I am also sure, that out of all players in the NFL, Derrick Brooks and Warrick Dunn understand that the NFL is a strict and harsh business.

As for Ike Hilliard and Joey Galloway, they were both old and probably can’t play with any other teams. Hilliard was good at one point but everybody gets older. Galloway was a stud pick in 1995 but never really got to show his full potential due to injuries, but sh*t happens to everybody. Sorry guys and so long. Cato June, on the other hand, came as a surprise to me. The guy has only been around six years and he’s decent for his position. My guess is that another team picks him up, maybe not as a starter but he’ll contribute.

That NFL, rough stuff.

February 27, 2009 at 12:03 am Leave a comment

You Better Like Your Job, Girl Fired After Writing That Her Job Was “Boring” On Facebook

facebook

Kimberly Swann, a 16-year-old working for Ivell Marketing and Logistics Limited in England, was fired after she wrote that her job was “boring” on her Facebook page.

Ms. Swann did not include the name of the company she worked for and later said that she actually liked her job, but it was no help. The company’s owner, Steve Ivell, told reporters,”Had Miss Swann put up a poster on the staff noticeboard making the same comments and invited other staff to read it there would have been the same result”.

And the moral of the story folks? We have to like our job? Nah, we all know that jobs can suck sometimes. We just have to understand that our bosses are getting pretty nosey and, what they like to call, trendy. Now they all have Facebook accounts and you can expect them to stalk your life for the rest of your employment with them.

Keep your harsh, but true, feelings to yourself. I know, it’s all malarkey.

February 26, 2009 at 11:01 pm Leave a comment

“Octu-Mom” Is Offered $1 Million To Star In Porno Film

octumom

Remember that crazy lady that had octuplets and who was obviously obsessed with actress Angelina Jolie? Well, she’s back in the news…as if she ever really left. But this time, it’s not for a guest appearance on a talk show or a new reality-t.v. idea. This time it’s for the big screen. The adult film big screen that is.

Octu-Mom, which is a new nickname for the whacky mother of 14, has been offered a $1 million contract to star in a pornography film from Vivid Entertainment. Vivid explained that if the Octu-Mom agreed to the deal, her video would be apart of the “celebrity collection” which also includes Pamela Anderson, Kim Kardashian, and other slutty socialites. Vivid Entertainment also said that they would provide Octu-Mom with health insurance and dental insurance.

That woman wanted a paycheck and it looks like she got one. With this deal, she gets $1 million plus insurance for the whoooole family. Can it get any better?

In my eyes, this whole porno idea is extremely foul and somewhat disturbing. On the other hand, I have a weird feeling that there are enough disgusting pervs out there that would make this flick a best-seller.

February 26, 2009 at 4:54 am Leave a comment

Where Does Harrison Land?

marvin-harrison-draw

Rumors, talk, and more rumors. Marvin Harrison should NOT go to Philadelphia. Why? The last time Marvin Harrison was in the news, he was at a Philadelphia sports bar that he owns and he shot a guy in the hand. Advice, stay away from Philly for a little while Marvin.

I am on the Tennesse bandwagon in terms of landing the 36-year-old future Hall of Famer. First off, the Titans need receiver help and they’ve needed receiver help for quite some time. Second, I hope that the Titans draft a receiver in April and then Marvin could pose as an EXCELLENT teacher for a young guy in the pros. And third, Marvin could contribute to the team immediately. Whether it’s Kerry Collins, Chris Simms, or Vince Young under center, Marvin will help you out tremendously. Because it doesn’t take a Ron Jaworski to realize Marvin Harrison is a more reliable target than Justin Gage or Brandon Jones.

If Tennessee has the money after other signings and they have the opportunity to bring in Marvin for a couple years, DO IT! The glaring weakness in Tennessee is obviously the receiver position, so why not completely address it all in one off-season?

February 24, 2009 at 10:52 pm 1 comment

Role Reversal: McNabb Wants Help In Philly Before He Signs An Extension

donovan-mcnabb-draw

How ’bout another story that’s been overly reported? You got it!

So Donovan McNabb wants some help at the wide receiver position before he signs an extension with the Eagles. But let’s get one thing straight right now, McNabb has two years left on his current contract and all this extension-talk is really just blown smoke. The Eagles do not have to sign McNabb to an extension right now and McNabb isn’t going anywhere if they don’t agree on a new contract by this year’s OTA’s.

Now onto the argument. Does McNabb have a point? Absolutely. McNabb is one hell of a quarterback and he has performed extremely well without having any great receivers. His last great receiver was Terrell Owens and they made it to the Super Bowl. Since then, he’s had a sack of marbles to throw to and yet he still takes the team to NFC Championships. That’s McNabb’s ability people, not luck. Give him a great receiver and the Eagles are automatic Super Bowl contenders…period.

DeSean Jackson is good, he’s your speedster, but you still need that receiver that can dominate an opposing defense. Look at the Super Bowl teams from this past season: Arizona has Fitz and Boldin, Pittsburgh has Ward (and a newly-developed Holmes), and the Eagles had….

McNabb is a stud quarterback in this league but he can’t bring a ring to Philly without having a guy to throw to consistently. Sure, you can start the Tom Brady argument, claiming that Brady won Super Bowls with Troy Brown. But please realize that I will argue that Belichick’s system is fail-proof (see: Matt Cassel). I’m not saying Tom Brady isn’t good, but when a guy that didn’t start a game in college can come in and post a mid-eighties QB rating…that’s a good system.

Some possible receivers that could call Philly their home this off-season in order to help Donovan are:

  • T.J. Housh-your-momma – He wants to play in Philly and he is very underrated. I’m afraid he may be a little expensive.
  • Anquan Boldin – If Boldin was smart he would stay in Arizona with Fitz, but if he leaves then why not play with McNabb and Westbrook?
  • Marvin Harrison – A Syracuse reunion will not be as pleasent as it sounds. Harrison would be coming back to his streets in Philly and he’s too old to be that receiver that Donovan needs.

Give Donovan his guy and let’s see him get that ring. He’s not getting any younger.

February 24, 2009 at 10:37 pm Leave a comment

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