News Flash: Tiger Woods Is Human

December 6, 2009 at 8:15 pm 2 comments

 

From the most reliable source ever, the Speculation Times reports…

Tiger Woods has not committed adultery. In fact, he wasn’t even in an automobile accident. Investigative reports prove that Tiger Woods was set-up by the U.S. government in connection with the PGA. According to reports, the United States government felt threatened by a black male that was considered by many to be “the perfect athlete”. The Internal Revenue Service attempted year after to year to catch Woods not paying his taxes but was unsuccessful. After years and years of Woods remaining atop the golfing world, being idolized more than any other athlete, and by not committing any wrongdoing whatsoever…the government decided to seek action. What better way to de-thrown the most popular guy around than to destory his life by telling everyone that he cheated on his model wife with more than three random attention whores? “It’s not that we don’t like Tiger,” said one government official, “it’s just that he was way too cool and he literally had it all”. Tiger Woods attended Stanford, loved his dad, was an incredible golfer, and made too much money…it just can’t happen like that.

Leave Tiger alone.

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Entry filed under: Comic Relief, Entertainment, Golf. Tags: , .

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2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. KR  |  December 7, 2009 at 6:06 am

    cute w/ some elements of truth…but here we are once again, America obsessed w/black men’s sexuality–this is really getting old–seemingly endless parade of young, slutty white women, selling themselves for exposure; comments from white male closet-racists, envious black/white men (class envy in full effect), enraged black women, bored, sexually frustrated envious white women, others cheering–its year end Mandingo season (billionaire style)–TigerSlut #5 drops “well endowed reference” then details “church parking lot 6am, not “in” car, but up against the Caddy, frantically” of course—Perfect. BTW this encounter was being filmed by Natl. Enquirer from across street; used to blackmail Tiger into doing photo shoot for Mens Fitness mag—major hypocrisy. Can you imagine media cataloging sexual exploits of ANY white celebrity like this? Post racial indeed. Lookout Obama, you’re next…count on it!

    Reply
  • 2. CHUCK LEYMAN  |  December 8, 2009 at 7:43 am

    GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU RACIST BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Reply

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